Do you use faux feelings?
A faux feeling sounds like an emotion but is actually an accusation. Say “I feel disrespected” and you have not described your inner state at all. You have told someone they did something wrong. That one word choice is often the difference between being heard and starting a fight.
The desert island test
Could you feel this alone on a desert island, with nobody else involved? If not, it is a judgment wearing a feeling’s clothes.
Twenty cards. Miss one and we will work it through together until it lands. Takes two or three minutes.